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Intimate teenage relationships

Abuse in teenage relationships is when you begin to feel scared or controlled by the person you’re with. You may be confused because it feels like a loving relationship but often only when you behave in a certain way. This can happen at any age, regardless of gender.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is being physically or emotionally abusive in anyway, including over the phone, messaging or using social media, this is relationship abuse.

They may be putting pressure on you to go and see them or do things online that you are not comfortable with.

If this is happening, you should speak to someone you trust, but only when you feel safe to do so. Send a message or call a trusted adult and let them know you’re worried.

Below are a list of some of the most common signs of teenage relationship abuse:

  • Emotional abuse: controlling behaviour, like telling someone where they can go and what they can wear
  • Online abuse: threatening to post personal pictures or information about them
  • Controlling someone’s finances: withholding money or stopping someone going to work
  • Snooping: reading emails, text messages or letters
  • Sexual abuse: making someone do something sexual when they don’t want to
  • Physical abuse: violence towards someone, such as kicking, punching, hitting

You don’t have to be living with someone for a toxic relationship to develop — some young people will experience relationship abuse while living with their parents or carers. It can happen in any relationship and can continue once the relationship is over, it can happen to boys and girls. What is most important to remember is, it is never your fault.